Hope everyone had a really good day. I wanted to post about friendship because I think it is something many of us struggle with. In my opinion, these days people are too quick to judge and walk away from their friendships. I have had a very close friend for almost 15 years now. We have had our ups and downs but along the way we have figured it out and never lost site of our love for each other. This post is in her honor but is also based off of friendships that I have had fall apart too. Everyone is different, however, below are some things that I think everyone can apply to their friendships.
Leave Your Coffee Maker On
I do not mean literally leave an appliance plugged in. I mean always be a safe haven for your friends to go too. If they need to get away from a bad situation or are in need of late night help, offer your couch to them. I remember the people that helped me when I had nothing more than I remember anything.
Communicate (even the hard topics)
Before you jump to deleting your friend off of Facebook, try to at very least work it out and hear each other out. Remember hearing your friends thoughts requires LISTENING to them. You do not have to agree but at least give each other the respect of telling your sides of the situation. The friend I mentioned above and I one time got into a very long drawn out dramatic argument. I do not even remember how it started but I remember how it ended. We met up somewhere and we agreed to talk it out to figure out whether we were walking away from our friendship or not. The fact that we both swallowed our pride and did that ultimately saved our friendship.
Be Honest but also Supportive
Honesty is an important factor in friendships because with honesty comes trust. Without trust you have an extremely shaky friendship foundation. With that being said, remember to also be supportive. For instance, if your friend is in a relationship with a person you dislike, love her through it and be there. She may not be able to see your side and that has to be OK. Remember, though you and your friend have a lot in common, yall may not make choices in the same way.
You Light a Match When You Gossip. Don’t
If you choose to talk about your friendship or personal details of your friend to others for entertainment purposes, I warn you that you have started a fire. Thinking that secrets and fake promises to “not tell” will keep the words from getting back to your friend is crazy. The last thing you want is your friend hearing that you have been slandering her to other people without her knowledge. I cannot think of a situation where throwing your friend under the bus in this manner is acceptable other than if you are inquiring with people to get advice in a really concerning situation.
Friendships are Like Dating
No, I do not mean that you should literally be dating your friend. But in a way I do. Friendships are investments and in order to keep a friendship healthy and strong it is important to make time for each other. Obviously life gets busy and people work a lot. That is very understandable. Even if all you can do is send a Facebook message checking to see how your friend is doing, write them a letter, leave them a small gift, or just split lunch before work that is OK! Despite popular belief, one does not have to have money to have friends.
Build Each Other Up
These days, many people are struggling with weight issues, financial issues, relationship issues, money issues, emotional issues, etc! Stress and coffee used to be one of the prime topics discussed at my last job. It is really important to be strong for your friend when they are going through it. Let them talk and compliment them on pushing through it. Remind them that this is going to pass. I can assure you, when the time comes around for you to need a shoulder to lean on, you are going to realize how much it meant to them that day you were there.
Don’t Outshine Each Other
Friendship should not be a competition of who is better than the other. If you make it into that the tension and pressure to “be better” will implode your friendship. Support, love, and compliment each other on a regular basis. If your friend gets an award, a raise, a new opportunity, engaged, etc, show them that you are proud of them! Even just telling them verbally will mean a lot. Remember, your time will come too and they should be there just as you were there for them.
Keep in Touch
It is likely that at one point or another your friend is going to move away. Whether that means to a different job or different state I do not know. Some people think this automatically means a friendship is doomed because they will never SEE their friend. Friendship is like rowing a boat. You both have to try and make an effort for it to work. You do not have to SEE a friend to KEEP a friend. Remember to call, write, and check on your friend even if they are far away. I sometimes go weeks or longer without getting the chance to touch base with my good friend. But I can assure you that whenever we talk it feels like old times because of the work we have put into our friendship over the years. We see each other occasionally but the basis of our friendship is long distance and that is OK! Love will hold you together if you have faith.
I hope this blog topic gave you some things to think about. I am pro trying a lot of different things before walking away from a friendship. I have seen some really catty things over the past few years that have made me sad. I would like to think that as years go on, our friendships age in the way wine does! It’s a goal of mine to work on keeping in touching and still letting people know I am there for them, even when they are far away. Have a great night!
ALL photographs from this post were free photos from Pixabay.
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